O'Reilly's Law of the Kitchen: Cleanliness is next to impossible.
Lieberman's Law: Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens.
Amercrombie's Law : No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Shrimpelheimer's Version : Virtue is its own punishment.
Gold's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Handy Guide to Modern Science: If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology; if it stinks, it's chemistry; if it doesn't work, it's physics; if there's a mushroom cloud over it, run like hell.
Green's Law of Debate: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Perry's Postulate: For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Oliver's Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Rabbet's Law: When the going gets tough the tough -- all leave.
Glyme's Formula for Success: The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.
Cole's Law = shredded cabbage.